Thursday, May 12, 2011

Gaga brings the Drama...

What a night on American Idol! (So much to say, so little time. And I'm way late on posting this, too).

I happened to love last night's show - our Top 4 sang a heartfelt song of their choosing, as well as a song from the Leiber and Stoller Songbook. (Who?!) The result: highs, lows, cranky judges and rally cries for our favorites. And we also got GAGA. I wanted more GAGA. You can never have enough GAGA.

So here we go!

Are we being set up by American Idol?
JAMES - has anyone else noticed, you get the pyrotechnics to back up your songs, you get gigantic podiums onstage so you can tower over the audience...while the other contestants get the occasional back-up Gospel choir. The AI Producer Love seems to be directed 100% at you these days. With "Don't Stop Believin'", you didn't re-invent the wheel, but it was a solid, entertaining performance that we've come to expect from our Resident Rocker. At least with "Love Potion No.", we got to see Gaga do a little groping, in attempts to loosen you up a little in the middle. To paraphrase you, "Gaga wanted it, so I gave it to her." You sure did, Dog.

Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Randy Jackson
HALEY - you've come so far from the Hot Mess with Lipstick on Her Teeth. Remember those days? True, your choice of "Earth Song", even if you love it, was probably ill-advised. I'm not really into those preachy, pleading save-the-world songs (that's more Jacob's territory), so this one fell flat for me. But still, Randy was a bit harsh. (Does anyone remember when Michael Jackson featured this song during his "This Is It" movie? It showed a beautiful child running through fields of flowers that slowly disintegrated around her, as she was chased by CYBORGS FROM HELL, as a metaphor for the imminent destruction of the planet? Not a good vibe. But I digress.) The good thing for you, Haley, is when you're attacked by the judges, I do think America will rally for you. We've grown to love our quirky, peace-signing Haley Reinhart. Plus, your performance of "I (Who Have Nothing)" was straight-up THE REAL DEAL. Loved it. You threw down the gauntlet with that last performance, stared down the camera, pissed off. Get angry, girl. And proceed directly to The Top Three.

I'm just a singer of simple a Howdy Doody outfit
SCOTTY - you are simply Un-American if you don't appreciate "Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning)". If something good and beautiful came out of the aftermath of 9/11, it is this Alan Jackson song, (plus Bruce Springsteen's entire "The Rising" album). You sang this song as if you'd written it. We all love a good story, and you are the grocery-store-clerk-done-good. With that said, "Young Blood" was frivolous, and more of a throwaway performance. Since we are doing the Leiber and Stoller songbook, I'm going to use a 60s term - you were a total SQUARE. And you dressed like Howdy Doody, to top it off. But you know what? It was worth it to see you interact with Gaga. To see Gaga in her black leather catsuit with her butt cheeks hanging out, bantering back and forth with our god-fearing, cross-wearing boy from the South...PRICELESS. Selfishly, I want you in the Top Three. Because that means American Idol will come to Garner, NC. Which happens to be next-door to Raleigh. So that means that next week - I can post REAL pictures of you on my blog! Because you KNOW I'm showing up to see you!

Fashion Suicide
LAUREN - at least you got off the launch pad this week. You didn't exactly reach the stars with Martina McBride's "Anyway", but at least you got into orbit this time. But enough with the space metaphors. Can we talk about your DRESS? Short in the front, long in the back. For the second time this season. You were wearing a FASHION MULLET!!! NO!!!!! Your second performance of "Trouble" by Elvis was full of trouble for me. With Gaga's help, your ability to embrace your inner Bad Girl at least allowed you to swallow your fear and belt out the song. But all I kept thinking was...someone like Haley would have CRUSHED this song. And again, your fashion choices were so distracting for me. This time you looked like a glittery "Real Housewife from Smyrna, Georgia". I hate to say it, but I think your run is over on this show, IF there is any justice in the world. The problem is, I'm pretty sure there's a massive teenage-girl voting bloc that ADORES you. So we'll see what happens tonight.


What did YOU hear last night?!

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