Last night, our Top 5 sang a throwback song, as well as one of their current favorites. Oh, the drama - to watch some of our Idols flounder on the first song, only to come roaring back with the second! Randy could barely sit still, with all this excitement!
Here's my rundown, from Worst to First!
JACOB - is it possible for you to sound awful? Yes. "No Air" was pitchy, strained, and pathetic. Who knew you were capable of such...mediocrity? Seriously...HATED IT. As for your performance of "Love Hurts", I'm pretty sure your body was overtaken by aliens as you screamed and whinced in pure, unadulterated, it's-me-against-the-world AGONY. I'm sorry, but I just can't take it anymore. In fact, it occurs to me that we've figured out your genre: it's not gospel, R&B, soul, whatever J Lo is trying to sell you on...your genre is Pain and Anguish. ENOUGH!!!!
LAUREN - I know at least one follower of this blog who will be relieved to hear me say: Lauren, I'm sorry, but I'm breaking up with you. Your version of Carrie Underwood's "Flat on the Floor" left me flat and bored. Your idea of projecting power and confidence was to scream to a song that just...isn't very good. The violin player next to you was more entertaining to watch. As for "Unchained Melody", I was so disappointed, I was almost angry at you. You backed off the big notes, when you should have crushed this song with your vocal prowess. Your fear was showing again. At this point, the fact that you are STILL holding back means that you just don't get it. You are sweet and looked so much like Malibu Barbie during your second performance, it kinda freaked me out. But I'm just disappointed. People love "Unchained Melody", and yours was just...bound and gagged.
JAMES - you were a study in Extremes tonight. Your performance of "Closer to the Edge" was probably my least-favorite of yours this season. Screamy, pyrotechnic-ridden antics onstage, I just wasn't feelin' it, dog. (What's with all the screaming tonight from all our contestants, anyway?). You then gave us "Without You" by Harry Nilsson and while it was very disarming and vulnerable, complete with an honest tear squeezed out at the very end, it doesn't excuse or hide the fact that it was just often out. of. tune. As the camera scanned the audience after this performance, and showed all those young girls with tears in their eyes and empathy on their faces, we know you're safe. But this was just not my favorite night for you.
SCOTTY - to quote from your Montgomery Gentry song, "Gone", you are gone like a freight train...straight to the Top 3. Gone like a soldier in the civil war. Bang Bang. (Sorry, I can't help myself. Some of these country music lyrics are priceless). You moved all around the stage and owned it on this one, so much that you were out of breath at the end. As Michael said, "I'm calling for his ass tonight!". You then gave us "Always on My Mind" and again, your ability to connect, tell a story, come across as earnest, sweet, regretful...it all works. Nashville is waiting for you with open arms.
HALEY - you got a big of a raw deal on your first song, "You and I" by The Gaga. I understand what Jimmy was doing when he directed you to choose this song - he wants to showcase the artist you'll be after this show, show what you are capable of doing. If the judges had bothered to listen, rather than just criticize you for choosing an unknown melody, they would have heard that you sang the ass of this song. It was great for you. It showed off your pipes. I thought you were great. But "House of the Rising Sun" was the highlight OF THE SEASON for me. You are like a budding, female Jim Morrison, all sexiness and hot vocals. When you were finished, I promptly picked up the phone for the first time this season, dialed your number, and hit redial 20 more times. It's official: I love you. And I'd love it if you could steal this competition away from the boys.
My top three: HALEY, SCOTTY, JAMES
Who needs to go: JACOB or LAUREN, at this point, doesn't matter what order they go in, as long as they go!
What did YOU hear last night?!